Not long ago I dared speak to someone I trust and say that I was questioning the whole notion of sexual orientation. Not what was my sexual orientation, but whether the concept even applies to me. When I talk to people like that I never know for sure where it's going to land: there is such pressure to conform to popular beliefs about how things work that I sometimes wonder whether I'm crazy, and at other times I suspect the world is crazy. But this person took it really well, to my immense relief.
And today I find that a word for what I was trying to describe, was invented 11 years ago already. It's pomosexual. Deconstructing sexual and gender identities. Postmodern sexual. Non-fixed, non-binary. All-inclusive and fluid. Yes, there is something wrong with the concept of "sexual orientation". Just how many people have considered that, I think not many. My, um, "partner", a fairly liberal-thinking person in most respects, unconsciously believed until recently that "bisexual" was "gay in denial". Just because the last time the issue ever had to be evaluated was way back in childhood, and things that were heard back then were fed into the autopilot until I challenged them, it seems.
I think a lot of people might be open to the idea of non-specific sexuality, it's probably just not something they have considered on their own. I hope to change that. "The future is here. It's just not widely distributed yet." (William Gibson)
I discovered this idea in anthropology. I just don't have "sexual feelings." To me, procreative sex is about sharing a giving feeling, melting our hearts together. Some people don't even believe this sort of thing.
ReplyDeleteI see sexuality as more of a spectrum really (imagine a rainbow, no pun intented), probably with hetero at one end leading to bi and then gay and then who
ReplyDeleteknows after that, but in between these basics or maybe more
accurately to the side of these basics all sorts of variations,
from dressing as nurses, firemen, teddy bears etc. up to s and
m, all sorts of fetishes also to people wanting to be treated like
babies, not to mention sex toys, right through to bestialty,
pedophilia, necrophilia and so on.
Obviously some of the things mentioned above are illegal and
extremely distastful to folk and I am not condoning anything, I
am merely passing a comment.
I know and love some people who are gay and bi and indeed
until recently never gave the whole issue of sexuality much
thought to be honest, indeed I am still new to all this "scene."
As I said I am merely passing comment and I certainly dont
claim to know everything.....