Wednesday, March 4, 2009


Just a small visibility achievement that probably no one noticed, but anyway. It's a principle. When you register with a physician, they ask you all sorts of interesting questions that don't see their own slant or bias... Like are you currently "using" alcohol. Or lumping the use of cocaine and marijuana into one question. And at the top of the list, the obligatory question about your marital status: married - single - divorced - widowed. WTF? What does it matter to them? Oh this time yesterday when I signed up with a new doctor, I was extremely lucky, one of the options was "partnered". But that didn't quite fit either, so I made another check box, "complicated", and checked that one.

Then the nurse asked me again about my marital status, and I just paused for a long time and smiled at her and said, "I'm not sure". We then established that what she was really needing, was the name of the person living with me - for some reason? I asked her why do they ask that and how is it relevant, and she was genuinely surprised and said, "I don't know! I wonder about that!" Then the doctor asked if there were any people or animals living with me, so I laughed and told him I was happy that he was asking a more specific question. I asked him too about why they want to know about marital status, and he also said he didn't know, and that it was probably a hold-over from a hundred years ago, and everyone just keeps doing it.

Everyone just keeps doing it. It's not that people are intentionally bigoted, they just don't often question habitual realities.

Anyway the asexual visibility thing. For whatever reason the doctor's form feels like it needs to ask you about your sexual preference. And it gave me two options: "males" and "females". Not even "both"! So I felt really smug and wrote "neither" in the blank space next to it.

Nobody asked me anything about it.