Monday, February 23, 2009

Recognize an asexual

I stumbled on these posts on AVEN here and here, talking about wearing a black ring on your right middle finger as a sign that you are asexual.

I like the idea of increasing visibility, especially among each other. I went and bought myself a nice-looking but inexpensive black band off of Ebay. And although I don't expect to be seeing large numbers of people sporting black ase-rings just yet, I want to support this as I'm hoping that the symbol will penetrate public awareness over the coming years and make it a little bit easier to exist as a legitimate minority. So this post is kind of an encouragement to spread awareness for all those who wish to pick it up. Wear a black ring on your right middle finger when you want to claim an asexual identity. Tell everyone who is interested in your ring, and let them know that this subculture exists. I'd complement this with the "ace of hearts" symbol where appropriate.

Hopeful vision of the future: guy tries to romance girl who seems to be playing hard to get. Guy checks her left ring finger. Nothing. Then guy checks her right middle finger. Guy sees black ring. Guy knows and understands that this means she is not interested in sex with him, thank you very much, and does not take it personally. People do not pressure you with questions and expectations about getting together with someone, or getting married, are not continuously suspicious of your permanently single status. The hope is that maybe one day asexuality would become at least as commonplace and accepted as being gay is today.


  1. I never considered asexuality as something that existed, until yesterday. The more I read up on it, the more I identify with it. It's what makes sense to me. Sex has always been something that I can take or leave. Most cases leave because of all the drama associated with it. Sex left me frustrated rather than satisfied. I don't understand the big deal. I bought myself a ring, but it wasn't black. It's brown and sparkly. I wear it on my right middle finger. It's the way I want to identify myself while I explore the fact that I just maybe asexual.

  2. I came across this because I'm asexual and wear a black ring on my middle finger. Eventually, I want to help asexuality be known, except for the fact that I am still in school, and I am already being bullied for certain reasons unknown to me, so I don't want to give them another reason to bully me for, a reason that I know. I don't know if you yourself are asexual, or if you are sexual, but I am sure thankful to you if you are spreading awareness. I found AVEN recently, but I'm glad I found it. Once I had been told that someone was envous of me, for finding out my sexuality, or asexuality, so young. Many people on there used to be lost, and then after years opon years of searching, they finally found themselves. I don't want anyone to have to be lost ever again, and I think spreading awareness is the way to do that. Like you, I have a similiar dream. I wish that in my health class, asexuality was a whole unit on it's own, just like the reproduction unit is it's own unit. If people just knew, life for asexuals would be so much easier. Where I could just wave my right hand at a sexual that was hitting on me, and I could be left alone. I don't care if asexuality is 1% or so of the world population, it deserves to be known.

  3. I know exactly where you are coming from. i am 16 years of age, never wanted to even touch anyone. It seemed bizarre that everyone i know is kissing and even engaging in intercourse wile i don't bother putting my self out there. I just found out less than a week ago that i am asexual and aromatic. I am currently looking for a ring but have had no luck. One percent is still a percent of the population and just like everything els we should be recognized. On top of being asexual i am aromantic, autistic, hearing impaired, vision impaired, and adopted. so as you can imaging, anyone with this info will just pick on me until i shut them up. you do not have to be physical in order to win a fight. For as long as you mess with his mind, stay calm and lure him towards a teacher, you will survive.

  4. I myself just got my black ring today-- and found it at JC Penney's, no less! Wearing it feels great-- especially since a few people at my school, two teachers and a large portion of two of my classes--know what the symbol is for, and are supporting me in supporting asexuality.

  5. I'm looking for my black ring. I've known I was an ace of hearts since my early teens. People have been trying to hook me up since pefore then with 'suitable' people (read: nerds)

    Since it wasn't mentioned in the article, I'd though I'd put it out there for the curious:
    -Ace of Hearts: Asexual, but romantic
    -Ace of Spades: Asexual and aromantic (Asexual in spades)